Some things just don't go away...
I reverted most posts about Dizzy to "draft". They were real thoughts, but non-productive. Just words left best unsaid.
And? It takes just the sight of her and a short conversation or two. To remind me that I may still have a best friend in the world.
She's busy. Making a real life for herself, her daughter and her man. So I miss her. A LOT. But love that she's basically keeping her shit together.
I miss the long conversations. The hugs that just make the world right for a few minutes. The fact that she can almost finish my thoughts for me. And be almost always be dead-on-correct about what drives me.
My give-a-shit is dying for good, I think.
Loneliness, a lot of mistakes in the last year... the losses just keep on piling up. I've got nothing left of my old life except a trio of dogs that drive me nuts most of the time.
The trick? To keep pushing hard, forward. Fuck the world, because my old one is gone. It's time to make a new one. My way, period.
The ONE thing I still believe in?
Dizzy.
No matter what I direction I go in from here, there's promises I made to her that will always hold true... if only to keep myself human.
I love ya, Dizzy... I hope you KNOW this, and rely on me to stay who I am at heart.
