Coming Down

"Coming Down"

It's caving in around me
What I thought was solid ground
I tried to look the other way
But I couldn't turn around
It's OK for you to hate me
For all the things I've done
I've made a few mistakes
But I'm not the only one

Step away from the ledge
I'm coming down

I could never be
What you want me to
You pull me under
To save yourself
(Save yourself)
You will never see
What's inside of me
I pull you under just to save myself

Was there ever any question
On how much I could take? 
You kept feeding me your bullshit
Hoping I would break
Is there anybody out there? 
Is there anyone who cares? 
Is there anybody listening? 
Will they hear my final prayers? 

Step away from the ledge
I'm coming down

I could never be
What you want me to
You pull me under
To save yourself
(Save yourself) 
You will never see
What's inside of me
I pull you under just to save myself
(Save myself) 

It's caving in around me 
(Caving in)
It's tearing me apart
(Tearing me)
It's all coming down around me
(Coming down)
Does anyone
Anyone
Care at all? 

I will never be
What you want me to
You pull me under
I pull you under

I could never be
What you want me to
You pull me under
To save yourself
(Save yourself)
You will never see
What's inside of me
I pull you under just to save myself

What Lies Beneath

Take a breath
Hold it in
Start a fight
You won't win
Had enough
Let's begin
Nevermind
I don't care

All in all
You're no good
You don't cry
Like you should
Let it go
If you could
When love dies in the end

So I'll find what lies beneath
Your sick twisted smile
As I lie underneath
Your cold jaded eyes
Now you turn the tide on me
'Cause you're so unkind
I will always be here
For the rest of my life

Here we go
Does it hurt
Say goodbye
to this world
I will not
Be undone
Come to life
It gets worse

All in all
You're no good
You don't cry
Like you should
I'll be gone
when you fall
Your sad life
Says it all

So I'll find what lies beneath
Your sick twisted smile
As I lie underneath
Your cold jaded eyes
Now you turn the tide on me
'Cause you're so unkind
I will always be here
For the rest of my life

Don't carry me under
You're the devil in disguise
God sing for the hopeless
I'm the one you left behind

So I'll find what lies beneath
Your sick twisted smile
As I lie underneath
Your cold jaded eyes
Now you turn the tide on me
'Cause you're so unkind
I will always be here
For the rest of my life

Dizzy, Again

Some things just don't go away...

I reverted most posts about Dizzy to "draft". They were real thoughts, but non-productive. Just words left best unsaid.

And? It takes just the sight of her and a short conversation or two. To remind me that I may still have a best friend in the world.

She's busy. Making a real life for herself, her daughter and her man. So I miss her. A LOT. But love that she's basically keeping her shit together.

I miss the long conversations. The hugs that just make the world right for a few minutes. The fact that she can almost finish my thoughts for me. And be almost always be dead-on-correct about what drives me.

My give-a-shit is dying for good, I think.

Loneliness, a lot of mistakes in the last year... the losses just keep on piling up. I've got nothing left of my old life except a trio of dogs that drive me nuts most of the time.

The trick? To keep pushing hard, forward. Fuck the world, because my old one is gone. It's time to make a new one. My way, period.

The ONE thing I still believe in?

Dizzy.

No matter what I direction I go in from here, there's promises I made to her that will always hold true... if only to keep myself human.

I love ya, Dizzy... I hope you KNOW this, and rely on me to stay who I am at heart.