Aptly Titled

 I am beginning to truly understand, that some part of my brain was functioning at full speed when I named this site.

Let's call this woman "Leora"...

Let us also say, that I am totally and irrevocably in love with her.

For a guy that loves to love my humans, I have also kept corners of my own heart safe. Perhaps "blocked" is a better word. But for me, that has always held the same meaning.

I was married to my best friend for thirty years. And still in love with her. And honestly didn't really believe that such could happen, ever again.

Coasting for six years hadn't shown me that I was wrong. And more than a few mistakes, in those six years, resulting in a place where it was hard to think I even deserved to have a real life, again.

And yet, Leora actually makes me feel like I can share any fault, happenstance, emotion or evil mistake.

I have always been someone that most feel like they can talk to. I talk quite a lot, actually. Generally, just to ease other humans into a conversational direction, that doesn't feel forced. Leora appears to be socially-adept, but is more home-body material than even I am.

She is good at conversation, entertaining others, making them feel welcome and loved, and yet tells me that she doesn't really feel that way. As badly as I screwed up my transition from young to (what?) (a little more mature and responsible?), I at least knew a lot of support from my wife. To include my kids, really, since they tend to still put up with my after-antics.

And though I fall more deeply in love with Leora, with every conversation and touch, the worst part is that it's not a phase or a passing infatuation. I am actually loving her. I am suddenly willing to risk all that armor and those blocked spaces of my soul, just to give her the kind of support that I know is the only way two people can stay together.

Gradients are turning into more solid versions of black and white.